How to Help Your Kids Take Responsibility for Their Actions

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.- Proverbs 29:11

It was just one of those days. My boys were at it again! They are best friends but sometimes they are also each other’s worst enemies.  And here they go, fighting like cats and dogs! To make matters worse, they each had a friend over witnessing this ugly fight unfold. There they sat–four boys, nestled in front of the TV playing a video game. My older son, more advanced at the game, killed my younger son’s character in order to get ahead. My younger son, frustrated by being killed yet again, exploded. World War Three broke out in front of my very eyes. I had no choice but to send their friends home. There were tears, hurt feelings and boy, was it awkward for everyone!

I took a deep breath and said a silent prayer.  Separating the boys, I asked them each to prayerfully consider their part in the feud.

After they cooled down, I met with each son separately.  Before giving any further correction, I told each son I loved him regardless of his behavior and I prayed with him. This broke down defensive walls, allowing us to get to the heart of the issue.

Anger begets anger. If I attempted to talk with them while angry, it would only add fuel to the fire, making matters worse. Once I waited and spoke to them from a place of love and grace,  it set the stage for growth, healing, and restoration which allowed them to become receptive to correction.

Published by Jennifer Jivan

Writer, speaker, Jesus follower, wife, mom and lover of a good cup of coffee.

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